Wednesday, April 28, 2010

No Reason

There doesn't have to be a reason for everything. 

Sometimes, things just happen.

I had no reasons to smile at you when I first saw you.

None at all for talking to you.

I just happened to enjoy spending time with you, sharing my thoughts with you, laughing with you, hearing you talk, sing, tell stories.....

There was no reason for my eyes to sparkle at your sight.

There was no reason for my cheeks to gain colour on hearing someone say your name.

If you'd ask me why I held your hand or why I let you hold mine, why I made you feel special or why I felt special with you, I'd fall silent....

.....because somethings just happen!

Just like, I happened to like you so much, I wanted to be with you all the time.

Just like, I happened to depend on you so much, I felt I would choke without you.

Just like, one day, I happened to realize I can be on my own.

I had no reasons for wanting to be alone.

I had no reasons to hurt you or to make you cry.

But I did. And now, everything seems to have gone my way. I don't regret a thing.

But still, there isn't always a reason for everything, like there isn't any for why I should feel like crying my heart out now.

Friday, April 16, 2010

What trust can do

You are known by several names – God, Destiny, Fate, but attaching names to you is just not enough. I prefer to attach value.

Accepting you as my guide, my teacher and my well-wisher has been the best thing I’ve ever done.

People thank you, blame you, pray to you but all that they really need to do is TRUST you. That is all that you've ever required of me and you have given me so much in return.

You didn’t teach the sand of the desert to absorb water, but you’ve taught me to love the feeling of it slipping through my hands – one that the mud of the forest cannot offer.

You made me realize that there would not have been a world for me if it were not for these eyes, this nose, this mouth, these ears, this skin, this mind, this body, this heart, this soul.  Any one amiss and the world would be incomplete for me. So it’s not really the World that needs to change.

I’m NOT JEALOUS because I know you give each that suits best.

I’m NOT HOSTILE to those who sent troubles for me because I know they were only your plans to help me become stronger.

I’m NOT REGRETFUL because you brought lovers to me and sent them far, for I know you intend to put each to test and make only the most devoted one my partner for life.

I’m NOT SORROWFUL when I don’t clear an exam because I know it’s so that I think beyond it and pay attention to something that I forgot to notice and something that’s more beneficial.

I’m NOT BOASTFUL because it is you that have made me all that I am and you who provide me with all that I have.

I’m AMBITIOUS because you have laid down for me the pleasant and the treacherous paths so that I have every chance to enjoy my journey and prove myself worthy of what it has to offer.

I’m HOPEFUL  because each moment, you unfold either a surprise or an adventure for me, and whatever it be, I know it’s getting me closer to the mission of my life.

I’m GRATEFUL to each and everyone for playing their assigned roles you gave them and in the best possible manner.

I’m BENEVOLENT because when I see people suffering, I know there’s a reason why I’m on the other side.

I’m CONFIDENT that the strongest force will always stay besides me.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Some rain and some coffee

"It's Raining!"
She had to scream to make her voice reach his ears amidst the roaring thunder.

"Yea, and if we don't find a shelter soon, the rain will wash away your make up",
he smiles devilishly at her,
"and I certainly don't want that to happen."

"Why is that?"

He keeps walking and smiles secretly, without looking at her.
She has to run to keep up with his pace.

"Tell me", she raises her voice, "why is that?"

"You think I would look ugly without makeup? You think your 'wow-figure" colleague looks any better without makeup?"

"I just don't understand....You men! You want a girlfriend to straighten your bow tie before you leave for a meeting, and a bitch for an eye candy....."

She keeps screaming at him but his ears have successfully managed to block out her continuous rants.
He imagines her with wet hair, without any make up, fresh skin, smelling only of her......

There's a secret that she would never believe.
He loves the pimple on her forehead, that she tries hard to conceal. It makes him smile because he knows he's the only one who can get so close to her to notice it, and he feels relieved that he loves no plastic, but a beautiful real woman in flesh and bones.

He only wishes that she understands that she doesn't have to try one bit to make him adore her.
It is so automatic!

"It is so automatic!", he hears her say.

"Huh?", he looks at her.

"I said, it is so automatic for you men to gaze at 'other' women, who they think are prettier"

He noticed he couldn't feel rain drops falling over his shoulders any more. They were standing at the entrance of a coffee shop, spacious with lots of tables, but only one occupied, by an old couple.

He hung his coat, she took out her handkerchief and wiped her face.
It wiped her beauty off her, she frets.
It wiped her ignorance off her, he thinks.

They took a table.

"Two Cappuccino, please", he ordered

She lay her head over the table and looked into his eyes.

"I know I'm not that pretty without makeup. But I want to be the prettiest girl you've ever seen. And that's why I'm so hurt, and I called you names, and yelled at you, and called that woman a bitch."

He is so in love with her, he thinks.

"I'm not sorry about the last one though"

He knows she wants him to say something, but he doesn't because all he wants to do is listen to the voice that stirs his soul.

"It's hard to hear things that made you try so hard so you don't have to hear them......"

"That's exactly what your problem is", he interrupts her.

"You try too hard....when baby, you don't need to"

She listens calmly.

"With make up, you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen.
Without make up, I'm sure, you are even prettier....
And you certainly are the only woman that I find pretty when she's yelling at me." He winks.

"I didn't want your make up to be washed off because it is so automatic for men to gaze at other women.....And I can't stand another man glancing at you."

"Thank God for it's Sunday, it's raining, your make up is washed off, and there are no young men in here to gaze at you"

"And this coffee mug.....I thank it....It's the first one that'll not carry your lipstick mark for anyone to see"


It's raining!
She is wet and water drips off her hair. 
A shiver runs through her as the drops seep into the soil and she can smell the aroma of cappuccino rise from his grave beneath the Earth.

Monday, April 05, 2010


In the process of trying to make tough days (unsuccessfully) better, I prepared a battlefield for my self and my conscience. My desperation to overcome the negativity that has been hovering over my mind for a few days has led me to being guilty of:

1)  Having too much happy food - ice cream, chocolates and soda (read loads of calories)
2)  Not having studied a damned single word for my ongoing exams
3)  Reading 'The winner stands alone' by Paulo Coelho, instead
4)  Moving my blog stuff from my previous address to this new one on the day just before my first sessional exam, while my course books rest in peace inside a wooden table
5)  Writing this post, and still not giving books a thought
6)  Pretending to be guilty when I'm actually amazingly relaxed

"Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway"  -Isabelle Holland